Beautiful You

Beautiful you, 

Fortunate me,

You're so captivating,

Head down to your feet...

(Michael O'Brien, Something About Us)

Dearest Baji,

I woke up at 4 a.m with this song playing in my head, and even though it's a love song thoroughly enjoyed by your dad and I, God used it to speak to my heart in the early morn.

Yours hasn't been the easiest journey, and from the time you were conceived, it feels like there's always been a battle for your life. But somehow, with God's help, you've soldiered on and brought Him and us immense joy.

I look at your face as you tackle your exercises and my heart sings with gratitude: for life, love and God's faithfulness. Even though some days seem longer than others, and I feel ill equipped for the job at hand, God continues to remind me to rest in Him.

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. (Psalms 91:1)

Way before I learnt the truth of dwelling in God, I used to dread entering the church creche for fear of what people would think. I agonized over what to say when a fellow mum asked me about your age, as I assumed that they only did so to get an opportunity to brag about the various milestones their babies had achieved. Crazy, right? I thank God for His grace because in His wisdom, He slowly started unraveling the lie that being different was bad; weak even.

But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.
(1 Corinthians 1:27)

I now look at you and see you for the good and perfect gift that you are. I feel so blessed and fortunate to be your mummy, and to watch you grow into the Joshua that God has called you to be. Through you, He is teaching me to be strong and courageous; to focus on the riches of Canaan instead of the mirage of giants on the way.

I love you loads baby.

Always,

Mummy

Hope for the weary mum

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
                                    Isaiah 40:31

Meals to be cooked. Noses and bums to be wiped. Dishes to be cleared. Socks to be paired... and in the middle of this muddle, is a family to be loved.

I'm not a multi-tasking mum. Period. I know that there's a generalization that women are great multi-taskers, but that gene seems to be missing from my DNA. I try to keep my house running, and still have some mummy time. At times, this is possible, but more often than not, the day ends with half of my 'To-Do' list still pending and a back ache that feels chronic.

There lies my problem: "I try." I'm beginning to realize that I can't do this on my own strength. I can't be a loving wife and mother; a budding writer and astute business woman; a godly woman. To be all this things and more, I need God. I need to learn to find my strength in Him, and when weary, I need to find my rest in Him. Like the Psalmist, may I say

"You let me rest in fields of green grass. You lead me to streams of peaceful water, and you refresh my life. You are true to your name, and you lead me along the right paths."


Psalm 23:2-3 CEV

L.O.V.E

Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.
                                                                                                                              1 John 4:7

I woke up this morning to a beautifully colored card from my 22 month old princess and a very unexpected and thoughtful gift from my very loving and forgiving hubby. Lord, thank you for extending your love for me through the two most important people in my life.

I know that at times (many times) I forget to cherish these acts of love from my family and choose instead to focus on the TO-DO / NOT-TO-DO list. So thank you Lord, for reminding me what love & life is all about.

Love is...

Food stains on my stylish pair of white cotton trousers
A slow dance with my beloved though he's already late for work
A cute picture with the crayon color outside the lines
A wiggly, squirmy body trying to get away from my fierce hugs
A bunch of exotic flowers when funds are rock bottom low
An unexpected "I'm blessed to have you," just because
A silent prayer on my behalf as I snuggle deeper into the covers in the early morn
The kiss that follows the undeserved "I forgive you"
Popcorn for tea, and bread for dessert