Beautiful You

Beautiful you, 

Fortunate me,

You're so captivating,

Head down to your feet...

(Michael O'Brien, Something About Us)

Dearest Baji,

I woke up at 4 a.m with this song playing in my head, and even though it's a love song thoroughly enjoyed by your dad and I, God used it to speak to my heart in the early morn.

Yours hasn't been the easiest journey, and from the time you were conceived, it feels like there's always been a battle for your life. But somehow, with God's help, you've soldiered on and brought Him and us immense joy.

I look at your face as you tackle your exercises and my heart sings with gratitude: for life, love and God's faithfulness. Even though some days seem longer than others, and I feel ill equipped for the job at hand, God continues to remind me to rest in Him.

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. (Psalms 91:1)

Way before I learnt the truth of dwelling in God, I used to dread entering the church creche for fear of what people would think. I agonized over what to say when a fellow mum asked me about your age, as I assumed that they only did so to get an opportunity to brag about the various milestones their babies had achieved. Crazy, right? I thank God for His grace because in His wisdom, He slowly started unraveling the lie that being different was bad; weak even.

But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.
(1 Corinthians 1:27)

I now look at you and see you for the good and perfect gift that you are. I feel so blessed and fortunate to be your mummy, and to watch you grow into the Joshua that God has called you to be. Through you, He is teaching me to be strong and courageous; to focus on the riches of Canaan instead of the mirage of giants on the way.

I love you loads baby.

Always,

Mummy

God's truth about S.E.X part 2

In the final part of this series, we continue looking at other biblical truths that will enable us to teach our children about sex.

In today's feel good culture, sex continues to be misused as an outlet for pent-up emotions that range from unbridled passion to emotional/physical blackmail. In his book 'Purpose & Power of Love and Marriage', the late Dr. Munroe, points to yet another misconception about sex:"The idea of sex as love is one of the biggest lies with which the world has perverted God’s original design for sexual expression, enjoyment, and fulfillment." Many people wrongly believe that sex and love are one and the same thing. The line "If you really love me, you'd have sex with me" and its many variations, is probably one of the most used lines in the non-Christian dating scene. However, going by the 3 types of love defined in the Bible, this type of love - Eros, has to do with physical/sexual attraction and can't sustain a marriage on its own. For a marriage to survive and thrive, Phileo (brotherly love) and Agape (divine love) as outlined in 1 Cor 13:4-7, must be present.

The extent to which sex has been debased is also seen in how its terminology is loosely used in every day conversation. It's not unusual to hear words like 'orgasmic' being used to describe a thrilling experience, or even phrases like 'sex up' to denote making something more exciting. Due to this, sex is seen as an all frills and thrills experience, with very few people willing to talk about the context in which it's meant to be enjoyed: marriage. Sex outside marriage - fornication, is a form of sexual immorality as clearly outlined in the Bible. Our bodies were created to bring God glory and not to gratify sinful sexual desires (1 Cor 6:13).

Even when the argument that "everyone's doing it" is presented, the reality is that there are those who are choosing to abstain till marriage. I've learnt that a strong faith in God will enable you to remain pure, as you view your body as the temple of the Holy Spirit, and are therefore able to flee from temptation (1 Cor 6:18,19). The people I spoke with also cited having close friends with similar values (yes, bad company does corrupt good morals!), clearly outlined boundaries (like those found here) and the mentorship of godly fathers or father figures as being instrumental.

Though I have had to live with the consequences of not waiting, I thank God for forgiving me of my sexual past and giving me a beautiful experience of marital sex as He intended: for pleasure, procreation, to build intimacy, and ultimately, as an act of worship to Him.


Always,

God's truth about S.E.X

I'm not a keen follower of the news. Ever since we unplugged our cable, I filter out what I watch so I mostly get to know what's happening later than most people. Today I woke up to the sad news that as part of the global campaign against the spread of HIV/AIDS among the youth, our president has launched a campaign dubbed 'Condoms for Kids.' I was so incensed about this that I first had to call my dear hubby to rant about it before asking him to join me in prayer. I've prayed about it and strongly feel that after a 2 year hiatus, this is something I need to blog about.

I am a wife and mother, but even before these titles, I am a daughter of the most high God. I am a sinner saved by grace and for that I am deeply grateful, for though I know I'm a W.I.P (Work In Progress), I'm not where I used to be. Over the years, God has been teaching me why abstinence is important; a lesson I wish I learned before I lost my virginity to a man I intended to get married to. But 3 years down the line, I finally had the guts to see the relationship for what it was: a toxic and emotionally abusive sham. I was riddled with guilt and shame, and though my peers were sexually active, I learnt the life changing truth that sin is sin whether you believe in God or not. God's truth after all, is objective and not subjective. 

As a mum, I am my children's first teacher (Prov 1:8 and 6:20) and it's my duty to demystify sex for my children according to God's word. I do not want them to buy into the lie that safe sex is all there is to sex, because unwanted pregnancies and STI's are not good enough reasons for abstinence. I say that because I know many people who got children at the 'right' time and dodged the various STI bullets, but are plagued with spiritual and emotional wounds resulting from sexual sin. This is because unlike other sins which are external to you, sexual sin is internalized (1 Cor 6:18).

When I finally do talk to my children about sex, these are the biblical truths I want them to learn:

- God created the sexual act as a way to unify a man and wife body,soul and spirit. Can you imagine the effects of having multiple unions or soul ties? Sex can especially be an empty act  when there's no marital commitment involved.
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh (Gen 2:24)

- The greatest way you can communicate love to your future spouse is by waiting for him / her in your marriage bed 

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.(1 Cor 13:4-8)

- Abstinence communicates a deep love for God as you're obeying His commands

And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love. (2 John 1:6)

- Sex is a divine gift that's not only meant for procreation purposes, but as a way for a husband and wife to enjoy each other. In the old testament, a newly married man was even excused from war in order to first go home and enjoy his wife! (Deut 20:7)

- Sex shouldn't be used as a manipulative tool by either spouse, and abstinence should only be by mutual agreement. 

Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (1 Cor 7:5)

There are many more truths about sex covered in the Bible.I shall continue with part 2 of this post next week. Until then, God bless you.