Awesome 2!

Your dad and I agreed on a keepsake for you on every birthday - a letter from each of us just to remind you (and us) how blessed we are to have you. You turned 2 on 11/04/12 so this is definitely long overdue.

Being a mum to you has changed me. You've taught me how to love fiercely, and yet freely; to dance unreservedly (even if my greatest moves are only executed in my head); to share my affections and afflictions. 

There was a time when you wholly depended on me for almost everything. Days in my foolishness that I wished would be a thing of the past so that I could get my life back. But now as I look at you run and slowly gain your independence I want to turn back the clock and get that little babe back. I know... it's the crazy mummy hormone - heavily addicted to gummy smiles, soft blankies and yummy smelling soft skin.

I thank God for His having allowed me to be available to you thanks to my work-from-home business. I love the special moments we've shared mixing cake batter, perfecting mum-mum's secret vanilla cake frosting (which you now can't stand!), singing our prayers, feeding Pooh and Yuki... It's in this memories in the making that God reminds me to savor our time together. My task list may no longer include transporting you everywhere, or spoon-feeding you the pureed foods that you so despised; but I'm honored that I still get to speak words of blessings over you.

May the Lord instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; May He counsel you with His loving eye on you. (Psalms 32: 8)

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.(Philippians 4:19)

This is the day the Lord has made;may you always rejoice and be glad in it.(Psalms 118:24)

Love you always,
Mummy

A mamma like Hannah

The story of Hannah in the Bible always stirs up mixed feelings in me. I feel her raw pain as she cries out to God for a child, having sailed in that boat a few years back. Just like the joy she feels when Eli confirms to her that God has heard and will answer her heart's cry, I too know the peace that comes from a heaven-sent promise.

I wonder how she feels on discovering that she is pregnant; does she keep it to herself  fearing that it is just another late period? Does she confide only in those closest and dearest to her, or 'tell it on the mountains'?

Fast forward to 9 months later and there she is with a babe in her arms.
"Samuel, because I asked the Lord for him" is her quiet explanation when friends and family ask how she arrived at that name.
A beautiful name. A befitting name. A reminder of her promise to God.

And she made a vow saying,"O Lord Almighty, if you will look upon your servant's misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life..."
                                                       (1 Samuel 1:11)

What Hannah does next baffles me (I can see many other mothers with me on this one). She weans him, and young as he is, takes him to the temple, to dwell there for the rest of his natural life (1 Samuel 1:24-28). I have often read this and wished the writer of Samuel would go into details: Are her shoulders stooped as she carries little Sammy up to the temple? Are her eyes swollen with the grief of giving up her only child? Doe she have to physically drag herself away from him as he cries out to her receding figure? Is Peninnah waiting for her at the gate to her household, all too ready with snide comments and jeers?

Though we may never know the minute details of Hannah's journey to the temple and back, we do know that this is one woman who knew the power of a promise kept. She not only takes Samuel up to the temple, but she does so with a sacrifice in hand (1 Samuel 1:24). Now that's what God calls a cheerful giver! She could easily have reasoned that Sammy would be at the temple for the rest of his life, and therefore kept him at home for a few more years. After all, according to her promise to God, there was no specific timeline as to when she should take him. But not this mamma! Just as God was quick to answer her cry for a son (she only lay with Elkanah once and she conceived), she was also quick to honor her promise.

"... those Who Honor Me, I Will Honor"

(1 Samuel 2:30)

Indeed, God did honor Hannah, for other than Samuel, she did birth 5 other children: 3 sons and 2 daughters (1 Samuel 2:21).Wow, talk about being given abundantly more than you could ever ask or imagine! When Hannah was making her promise to God, I don't think she knew what blessings her keeping that promise would bring. Her son Samuel was not only a godly prophet and judge, but she also had a full, bursting-at-the-seams-with-kids house. 

The lesson for me in this is that my child is a gift from God. My work as her mum is not to hold on to her, but to wrap her up in prayers and place her in God's gentle arms, to do His bidding now and forever more. 

Mama's true calling

Whether a stay-at-home, work-from-home or work-outside-the-home mum, I'm sure there are times when you've wondered if you're doing a good job with your child. There are days when you see her perform a random act of kindness and you think you have this parenting thing down to a pat – but let's face it, those days can seem few and far in between especially when you're dealing with a tantrum in a public venue.

It's easy to be hard on yourself during the bad days; to think of yourself as a failure when you compare your child's behaviour with your neighbour's bible-verse-quoting, always-does-what-mummy-says child. Yap, the grass will always be greener as soon as you introduce the 'C' word.

You're doing a good job with your child, but immediately you start comparing yourself with someone else, you start doubting your work, and ultimately your worth, as a mum. Suddenly, your child's good grades, active involvement in your church's youth group and her tidying up her room without needing to be told, are no longer enough. You push her to outshine everyone in all that she does and with every accolade you she receives, you lose your eternal perspective on your calling as a mother.

He took a little child and set him in the midst of them. And when He had taken him in His arms, He said to them, “Whoever receives one of this little children in My name receives Me; and whoever receives Me, receives not Me but Him who sent Me.”

Mark 9:36-37 NKJV

When I read this verse, I found myself asking this question: “If  the babe I'm nursing at 2 a.m. / the toddler colouring my wall/ the teen who seems to have locked me out of her life was JC, would I still treat her the same way?”

Nooooooo... then, I would be ministering to my Saviour so I'd clean up my act (probably attend a parenting class and read a number of Dr. Dobson's books while at it).

“But isn't motherhood just that, a ministry?” He gently chided me.

“Yes it is.”

Then it follows that my chief role as a mum is to prepare my child's soul for eternity. This is done every time I love my child as she is, and NOT as she should be. I minister to my child’s soul and spirit every time I raise my voice to praise God for the blessing that she is, as opposed to yelling out my frustrations at her. Indeed, I am nurturing my child's soul if I'm able to lay down godly rules for her to abide by, and to discipline her when she fails to do so.

If at the end of my life I have taught my daughter nothing but to lean on God, then indeed I'll have successfully lived out my purpose as a mum.

Where are my 24 hours?

My life has been feeling out of balance of late with so much to do and so little time. I love my new business; passionate about it and the direction it's taking. But I don't want to miss out on my family or my God.

Nia seems to be growing up so fast and yet there are days when I feel like it's not fast enough (forgive me Lord). I want to follow my passion which I now believe to be part of God's greater purpose for me. I however don't want to lose out on living with and loving my wonderful, can't-do-it-without-you family. Lord please give me wisdom and show me the way forward.

I love this poem that I first came across in "Mom... and lovin it!" by Laurie Hillard and Sharon Autry ( lovely book by the way). Maybe I should frame it and have it in my view always...

                                                            "Love in the Home"

If I live in a house of spotless beauty with everything in its place,

But have not love, I am a housekeeper — not a homemaker.

If I have time for waxing, polishing, and decorative achievements,

But have not love, my children learn cleanliness — not godliness.

Love leaves the dust in search of a child’s laugh.

Love smiles at the tiny fingerprints on a newly cleaned window.

Love wipes away the tears before it wipes up the spilled milk.

Love picks up the child before it picks up the toys.

Love is present through the trials.

Love reprimands, reproves, and is responsive.

Love crawls with the baby, walks with the toddler, runs with the child,

Then stands aside to let the youth walk into adulthood.

Love is the key that opens salvation’s message to a child’s heart.

Before I became a mother I took glory in my house of perfection.

Now I glory in God’s perfection of my child.

As a mother, there is much I must teach my child,

But the greatest of all is love.

Love? Really mummy?

Ok. So we tried putting it off for as long as we could. We discussed it, prayed about it, and silently hoped that that day was a long way off. But it finally came.

Pouting lips. A defiant stare. Stubborn little legs that stood their ground demanding their way NOW!  


"I have a visitor, what will she think of me?"
"I don't want to do this without her daddy here." 
But if I did nothing, I knew that I would hurt her more.


I looked at her. She glared back, with a small victorious smile starting to form.


A gentle but swift spank on her bum. Silence... then tears. 


Wide tear-brimmed eyes asking why. A mother's silent prayer to heaven wondering if she did the right thing.


An answer in the form of  chubby hands around her. Maybe not immediately, but all the same a welcome relief, whatever the hour.

"... “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.” ...Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live!...No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."

                                      Hebrews 12:5-6,9,11

Hope for the weary mum

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
                                    Isaiah 40:31

Meals to be cooked. Noses and bums to be wiped. Dishes to be cleared. Socks to be paired... and in the middle of this muddle, is a family to be loved.

I'm not a multi-tasking mum. Period. I know that there's a generalization that women are great multi-taskers, but that gene seems to be missing from my DNA. I try to keep my house running, and still have some mummy time. At times, this is possible, but more often than not, the day ends with half of my 'To-Do' list still pending and a back ache that feels chronic.

There lies my problem: "I try." I'm beginning to realize that I can't do this on my own strength. I can't be a loving wife and mother; a budding writer and astute business woman; a godly woman. To be all this things and more, I need God. I need to learn to find my strength in Him, and when weary, I need to find my rest in Him. Like the Psalmist, may I say

"You let me rest in fields of green grass. You lead me to streams of peaceful water, and you refresh my life. You are true to your name, and you lead me along the right paths."


Psalm 23:2-3 CEV

Fruitful Mothering

I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remain in me and I in him,he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing
                                    John 15:5

Motherhood can totally drain you, especially if you're relying on your strength. Your precious little bundle can turn even the most mundane activity (pairing socks) into a hair raising experience. Overnight, you can turn into a mean, depressed, always-shouting-and-not-fun-to-be-around woman.

But, what if you totally surrender your trying-to-be-super-mum attitude and ask God to be your source of strength? Life as a mother begins to change. You find that you can wipe the spilt milk for the umpteenth time without muttering under your breath. You lovingly give your toddler the spoon he's been crying for without thinking about how much faster you'd have fed him. Another soiled nappy to rinse? No sweat.

Why the change in attitude? A realization that YOU. CAN'T. DO. IT. So you turn to the vine and guess what? You start bearing fruit. Not just fruit but much fruit.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness,faithfulness,gentleness and self-control..."
                       Galatians 5:22,23

Join me in trying to be a mum who stays rooted to the vine. That our children may be able to see and taste of the luscious fruits that we bear. That when they ask the source of our forever in season fruit, we may be able to point them to the vine: Jesus Christ.

L.O.V.E

Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.
                                                                                                                              1 John 4:7

I woke up this morning to a beautifully colored card from my 22 month old princess and a very unexpected and thoughtful gift from my very loving and forgiving hubby. Lord, thank you for extending your love for me through the two most important people in my life.

I know that at times (many times) I forget to cherish these acts of love from my family and choose instead to focus on the TO-DO / NOT-TO-DO list. So thank you Lord, for reminding me what love & life is all about.

Love is...

Food stains on my stylish pair of white cotton trousers
A slow dance with my beloved though he's already late for work
A cute picture with the crayon color outside the lines
A wiggly, squirmy body trying to get away from my fierce hugs
A bunch of exotic flowers when funds are rock bottom low
An unexpected "I'm blessed to have you," just because
A silent prayer on my behalf as I snuggle deeper into the covers in the early morn
The kiss that follows the undeserved "I forgive you"
Popcorn for tea, and bread for dessert

Yes I'm a mum and I choose to dream BIG!

"You have dwelt long enough at this mountain. Turn, and take your journey..." "Look the Lord your God has set the land before you; go up and possess it... Do not fear or be discouraged."

Thank you for this one Lord. Thank you for reminding me that not only are you the dream giver, you are also the dream fulfiller. For a while now, I've been downsizing my dreams to my view of me. I foolishly chose to believe the skeptics with their "No, it can't be done" chants.


I
refuse
to
look
down
anymore.


I lift up my eyes to the mountains - where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. (Psalms 121:1,2)


You Lord, know my dreams. From being an accomplished christian writer and speaker, to owning a one-of-a-kind coffee shop cum bookstore and library chain, and everything in between. Use me for your glory. Amen.

God's gifts put man's best dreams to shame.  
Elizabeth Barrett Browning