In today's feel good culture, sex continues to be misused as an outlet for pent-up emotions that range from unbridled passion to emotional/physical blackmail. In his book 'Purpose & Power of Love and Marriage', the late Dr. Munroe, points to yet another misconception about sex:"The idea of sex as love is one of the biggest lies with which the world has perverted God’s original design for sexual expression, enjoyment, and fulfillment." Many people wrongly believe that sex and love are one and the same thing. The line "If you really love me, you'd have sex with me" and its many variations, is probably one of the most used lines in the non-Christian dating scene. However, going by the 3 types of love defined in the Bible, this type of love - Eros, has to do with physical/sexual attraction and can't sustain a marriage on its own. For a marriage to survive and thrive, Phileo (brotherly love) and Agape (divine love) as outlined in 1 Cor 13:4-7, must be present.
The extent to which sex has been debased is also seen in how its terminology is loosely used in every day conversation. It's not unusual to hear words like 'orgasmic' being used to describe a thrilling experience, or even phrases like 'sex up' to denote making something more exciting. Due to this, sex is seen as an all frills and thrills experience, with very few people willing to talk about the context in which it's meant to be enjoyed: marriage. Sex outside marriage - fornication, is a form of sexual immorality as clearly outlined in the Bible. Our bodies were created to bring God glory and not to gratify sinful sexual desires (1 Cor 6:13).
Even when the argument that "everyone's doing it" is presented, the reality is that there are those who are choosing to abstain till marriage. I've learnt that a strong faith in God will enable you to remain pure, as you view your body as the temple of the Holy Spirit, and are therefore able to flee from temptation (1 Cor 6:18,19). The people I spoke with also cited having close friends with similar values (yes, bad company does corrupt good morals!), clearly outlined boundaries (like those found here) and the mentorship of godly fathers or father figures as being instrumental.
Though I have had to live with the consequences of not waiting, I thank God for forgiving me of my sexual past and giving me a beautiful experience of marital sex as He intended: for pleasure, procreation, to build intimacy, and ultimately, as an act of worship to Him.
Always,
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